On Kobe

There’s no easy way to start a post like this- but Kobe Bryant died on Sunday. 

How does one even begin to acknowledge the profundity of such a loss?

You know how people talk about those “remember-where-you-were” when it happened moments? This wasn’t just one of those moments- it was more than that; when that initial TMZ story broke, the whole world came to a jarring stop. 

Case-in-point: I had been practicing guitar chords while sitting on my living room couch at the time I found out, when several of my friends had all, in unison, stopped whatever they were doing in their lives at that moment to send me the TMZ link. 

I didn’t want to believe it. To degree, I still don’t, even as I write this. But before long, it became clear that it was real. 

Like my friends who had first reached out to me and broke the news, my life too had come to a screeching, dissonant standstill.

Like my friends who first reached out to me and broke the news, I too began reaching out to other friends that I had not yet heard from, to see if they were also experiencing the same disorienting shock that I was currently experiencing. 

And like the millions of others around the world at that same moment, I too could not, on my own, process the gravity, the horror, the tragedy and most devastatingly of all…. the sheer unrealness of it all.

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During times like this, the limits of human language are laid bare as we attempt to quantify the unquantifiable impact made by a man who in life, and now death, transcended his role as merely a basketball player and became- as anyone who yelled “Kobe!!!” after shooting a crumpled wad of paper perfectly into a trashcan will attest- the human personification of what greatness looked like.

All that said, some people might think it’s weird to legitimately grieve for somebody you didn’t personally “know”, in the sense of the word that describes how you might “know” an acquaintance or a co-worker or somebody you bumped into on the sidewalk, and like ships in the night, never crossed paths with again.

Such individuals understand the meaning of the verb know-ing in only the most superficial sense of the word. I genuinely feel sorry for them, for the word "knowing" describes, in a single utterance, perhaps the most beautiful phenomenon (for lack of a better word) known to humanity: genuine interpersonal connection.

Consider this: the word “know” is derived from the Old English word cnawan- “to know, perceive, recognize.” 

If you recognized the impact Kobe had on your life or perceived a change in your own behavior after you watched him on your television- enough said: you knew Kobe Bryant, personally.

And this is precisely why his death has impacted all of us- you, me, and many others around the world- so deeply.

When we found out Kobe died, the ground trembled beneath all of our feet while the earth as we knew it violently quaked.

We all shared this experience of our collective souls being viscerally shaken to their cores, this nauseating rattling of the deepest, most vulnerable parts of who we are, where the moments with people we cherish reside within.

And still, we all must cope with the aftershocks of this event; as each piece of increasingly devastating news begins to emerge, the shaking seems to intensify: soon enough, we find out his beloved daughter Gigi, along with 7 others, have also perished in the accident as well.

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Like a dark, gray storm cloud on the horizon, there will more devastating revelations about what happened, and incredible heartache to come. But in the midst of all this pain, we must never lose sight of the reason why we are all feeling this way to begin with- because we cared so deeply about our relationship with Kobe Bryant and what it meant to us.

For me, Kobe reason was the reason why I started watching basketball. It was the 2003-2004 season, specifically. Yeah, that Lakers team- the one with Phil Jackson, Shaq, Karl Malone, Gary Payton, and 0.4 second Derek Fisher. But most importantly of all, that Lakers team was led by a 25-year-old Kobe Bryant, who seemed to be reaching the zenith of his power. 

As it turned out, the Kobe Bryant-era Lakers had actually just begun their ascension to greatness. At the time, though, they were widely expected to thoroughly decimate whichever opponent that found themselves scheduled against this Lakers team that night. Anything less would be a disappointment.

Ending the year with a championship parade was pro forma, a foregone conclusion. If THIS Lakers team, the one with four all-time greats and the greatest head coach of all time, failed to bring a championship home- it would be an unmitigated catastrophe.  

As it turned out, though, this Laker team not only lost- but was thoroughly embarrassed by the Detroit Pistons in the NBA Finals- a defeat that precipitated Shaq’s exodus to Miami and ended one of the greatest dynasties in sports history. 

And yet, for all the infamy still attributed to that Lakers team, this group still holds such a profoundly special place in my heart. On a team with a seemingly infinite number of reasons to root for or despise them that season, watching Kobe each night remains the most compelling one of them all. 

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In the years that have passed since, I could not possibly tell you how many hours I’ve happily spent following the game of basketball. 

I turn 25 next week- and as I write this, I realize that my relationship with basketball as it exists today wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t have the opportunity to witness a 25-year old Kobe Bryant so joyfully live out his own relationship with the sport for the entire world to see, all those years ago.

I can only speak for myself. My story is just one of millions- and that’s a conservative estimate. 

For you, he might have been the reason why you started playing basketball. Perhaps he’s the reason you became a Lakers fan… or a Celtics fan. Or still yet, maybe you saw his relentless drive and dedication to his craft- whether it be basketball, filmmaking, or fatherhood- and strove to be better yourself because of it. 

Regardless of what he meant to you individually- above all else, the fact alone that you knew that Kobe Bryant meant something, anything to you at all:

It means that the relationship you had with him was genuine.

It means that the relationship you had with him was meaningful.

It means that the relationship you had with him was special.

And most importantly- it means the relationship you had with him was real.

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Kobe’s passing puts us into direct, experiential contact with the scariest truth of them all: that one day, we too will join him in death.

At the same time though, Kobe’s life puts us into direct, experiential contact with an even greater, happier, and more essential truth: that if we live our own lives with the same sense of vitality, passion, and commitment that characterized the way Kobe lived his, we can also leave behind a legacy that will endure long after we too are gone. 

And to that end, just as there are seemingly an infinite number of ways that Kobe’s legacy will continue to impact us all for the years to come- there are a likewise an infinite number of reasons for which he deserves our thankfulness as well. For now though, one will have to suffice as best it can. 

From the very bottom of my heart, and of the hearts of countless others as well: Thank You, Kobe Bryant. 

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“There lies the most perfect ruler of men the world has ever seen. Now, he belongs to the ages.” –E.M. Stanton, 04/15/1865