Manny Machado is a Padre: 1 Week Later

ITS BEEN ONE WHOLE WEEK AND MANNY MACHADO IS STILL A PADRE AND REALITY DIDN'T COLLAPSE UPON ITSELF!!!!!!!

*deeply inhales and exhales*

I needed to get that out of my system. We're only .002% of the way through Machado's 10-year contract, and it's already been quite a week for the MLB since the Padres broke through baseball's frozen hot stove.

• White Sox nation is so incredibly salty about missing out on Machado that all of their kidneys have been collectively ruined.
• Baseball has a, uh, pitch clock now? It's a thing for spring training at least, but the league has the ability to implement it unilaterally this season.
• Vice, which was the closest thing to a Baseball Movie™ at the Oscars this year (George W. Bush's fallback plan if he didn't win the 2000 presidential election was becoming MLB commissioner, according to the movie) was shut out of the major awards categories.
• Bryce Harper, despite some vague rumors that the team was still interested in him, will not be a Padre after he signed a 13-year, 330 million dollar contract with the Philadelphia Phillies. I'm okay with that. You should be too. Manny Machado is a better fit for us anyways, so I can live with him being on the Phillies- which means that, more importantly, Bryce Harper will not be a Dodger.

Most notably and excitingly though, Spring Training games are officially underway- and the Padres are actually exciting to watch! Machado hasn't even played in a game yet, but you already get the sense that there's something different about this Padres team.

• Fernando Tatis has already gone yard twice, one of which was a two-out-bottom-of-the-ninth-inning jack to tie the game against the Diamondbacks. You won't see him on the Opening Day roster, as the Padres will keep him in the minors for a couple weeks- thereby manipulating the league's contract rules so they can have him under his entry-level contract for an extra year. Make no mistake though: Tatis is ready.

• Chris Paddack (who looks like the Red Dead Redemption 2 version of Noah Syndergaard) looked like an ace against a Brewers team that was a game away from the World Series last fall. Paddack also looks ready, but since he's a year removed from major elbow surgery, the Padres will probably be careful with his development. Nevertheless, expect to see him in Petco this year.

• Jacob Nix, Eric Lauer, Logan Allen, and even Bryan Mitchell and Luis Perdomo (!!!!!) all have shown progress in small sample sizes. Maybe the rotation won't be as bad as we all think.

• Finally, I'm declaring myself the president of the Aderlin Rodriguez fan club. Don't know who Aderlin Rodriguez is? I didn't either, but look for the guy at first base built like a LINEBACKER on the next telecast- he's impossible to miss, and he's already leading the Padres in homers. 

Again- MANNY MACHADO HASN'T EVEN PLAYED A GAME YET and it's the most legitimately exciting time to be a Padres fan in years. Even now, literally as I'm writing this post, the team just signed some guy named Adam Warren. Who's Adam Warren? I guess he was a pretty good reliever for the Yankees not that long ago. While your guess is as good as mine beyond that, it's also still exciting nonetheless. AJ Preller obviously isn't done making moves yet. 

Is this foreshadowing a Dallas Keuchel signing? The pragmatic answer is probably not. 

But who cares! The Padres have a winning record in spring training and Manny Machado on the roster. Now is the time to throw pragmatism to the wind dream recklessly.